Talking about death with your child

Why are we doing this? This resource is to help you talk to children about death. Talking to a child about someone close to them dying can be difficult. You may worry that you will frighten them or say the wrong thing. But it’s important to be open and to answer any questions they have as honestly as you can. What children imagine can be far worse than the reality. Here are some tips that may help you talk about death: • When they ask a question, you could start by asking: “What do you think?” Then you can build your answer on their understanding of what’s happened. • Try to avoid telling the child not to worry or be sad. It’s normal that they should get attached to people. And, like adults, they might find it hard to control their feelings. You might find that the child doesn’t seem to be sad. Sometimes they need time to absorb what’s happened. • Don’t try to hide your pain, either – it’s alright to cry in front of the child. It can help to let them know why you’re crying. You might want to say to them that people cry for many reasons, and sometimes they cry to express their pain or sadness when someone close to them dies. Let them know that it’s also OK not to cry, if that’s how they feel. • Be sure to give the child plenty of reassurance. Let them know they’re loved and that there are still people who will be there for them. A cuddle can make a big difference and make them feel cared for. 4 5 Duck’s Fish This information has been taken from: www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/bereaved-family-friends/supporting- grieving-child/talking-to-children-about-death The following story ‘Duck’s fish’ has been especially written to help you explain death to a child - we hope it helps you too!